When i was an acupuncturist, i had to be very careful not to give advice. It's a no-no for good reason. But here, i can't help myself. Sorry. Take only what is useful and disregard the rest. My advice: write that letter, the one you wanted to; physically write it, add to it over a few days, and express all of your feelings, especially the ones you think you shouldn't have. Then burn it. That last bit is crucial. Don't miss out the burning. I'm thinking of deleting this now. You don't really need my advice. You are doing great. A