HUMOUR

What Your Dogs Are Really Saying

The Canine Revenge edition

Image by freepik

Let me introduce the characters again:

This is Jazz, a border collie. She belongs to my husband. Photo by author.

This is Shen, a Bedlington whippet. She’s mine. Photo by author.

Below is the transcript of a conversation between our two dogs. The events described are entirely true.

Jazz: Shen, why are you limping?

Shen: I’m training my human.

Jazz: What are you training it to do?

Shen: Lift me in and out of the car and up and down the stairs. I’m dog royalty. I should be transported in a silk-lined carriage, but I’ll work my way up to that once I’ve trained her to carry me.

Jazz: I think you should stop now.

Shen: Why?

Jazz: I heard the V word.

Shen: I don’t know why you hate the vet. She gives me treats.

Jazz: You mean you have never experienced the Stick of Shame?

Shen: No. What is the Stick of Shame?