TOTALLY TRUE

The Time I Disposed of a Dead Body

It still haunts me

I couldn’t find an image that was in any way representative of the body I disposed of. So this will have to do. Image by ijeab on Freepik

I’m going to ease you into this story gently.

We had foxes in our London garden. They were big, mean things with scary eyes, and they used the garden like some sort of larder. Or graveyard. Usually, I just found chicken bones, but I once found half a cat’s leg with its paw still semi-attached in one of my vegetable beds.

It was very distressing, and I didn’t go out for a month in case I saw one of those posters asking if anyone had found their missing cat. And I can’t lie. So I would have had to phone them up to tell them I had found part of it.

And that would have been dreadful for the owners because if your cat has been savaged and eaten by a fox, you would probably rather not know. I think you would prefer to imagine it has been stolen by a total cat lover and is living its best life with someone else.

It looked a lot like this but more disembodied and dead. And bloody. Image by wirestock on Freepik

Plus, they would have had to come around to identify their pet from the leg-paw, and there would probably have been tears. And I might have laughed because that is what I do when I am nervous, especially when I am nervous AND picking up on…