Thank you so much for reading and leaving such a well-thought-out response and question. It is, I think, exchanges like this where the real magic can happen. I have read your poem and it is very moving. In answer to this, of course you will want your son to be happy, kind and healthy - and more besides. But as much as you can, try to notice when you have those desires and set them aside. Protecting him from his father is a different matter entirely. Part of being the right "soil" for him to grow is to provide him with love and a SAFE space to grow in. I'd fight like a tiger to keep my eggs safe. So, yes, I totally agree that it is part of your responsibility to keep him safe. I will leave a comment on your poem directly but not this next bit. I'll keep this here. I don't think you should lie to your child. Your child already inherently knows that his father is not safe, which is why he cries to come back to you. I would say you should honour that and make sure he knows that you know it too. And that you will do all you can to make him safe. It may be wise to whisper this to him later when his father is not there, but I (AND REMEMBER THIS IS MY PERSONAL OPINION AND MIGHT BE WRONG) would definitely do it. Young children "know" far more than we give them credit for. And it is when what they "know" is contradicted by their parent that the conflict for them begins. They need their parents to survive, they rely on you, so will do what they can to behave the way they must in order to keep you present and on board. If that is in conflict with what they know, it will set up all sorts of future STUFF they will need to uncover and release. It isn't too late. Tell him the truth. That is my advice. Take only what is useful and discard the rest. I hope that has helped to clarify things, but do get back to me if you have any other questions. In kindness, A🙏