Such a moving story and i hope you won't mind me sharing one of my favourite pieces. it's by Suzanne Clothier in Bones Would Rain from the Skies. It is this:

“Take one lifetime with animals. Grind it hard against mistakes and misunderstanding. Season heavily with the desire to get it right, and layer generously with the forgiveness of every animal who passed through your hands. Stew for years, being sure that gifted teachers (animal or human) stir the mess from time to time as needed so it keeps cooking. Serve when it begins to get clear. Yield: a few precious drops worth having”

So sorry for your loss, A🙏💚