Please send me this as a Word Document. I need me one!

I know I should probably be sending you get well gifts or drugs or something but I'm rather afraid I am laughing to much. It's ok - you can get your own back: I've got a cold and the boiler has broken. I had to have a cold shower this morning. Oh and I can't even heat soup because the fucking flat we have bought has got an induction hob and nothing I own works on it. It keeps flashing F for Fail. It's almost as if it knows I can't cook.

Please send pills soonest. A🙏💚