Ok, here goes. Remember, I am not a therapist. Take only what is useful and disregard the rest.

It seems you have narrowed down your options to just the two: work in a decent paying job you hate, or try to find a new job with a lower salary.

Now call me old, but in my experience there are ALWAYS more options than you have considered. Let's get creative here. You are creative, you can do this. You are also a writer, one who is self aware and you are, let's not forget, a "life enthusiast". So, take a breath, find ways to soothe yourself.

Don't make any decisions yet. If you don't know what to do, do nothing.

Keep doing nothing until you do know what to do.

I hate giving advice, but I'm going to do it anyway: get LOTS more sleep. Give up the R4R list for a while if it is too much, too time consuming, eating into sleep time. SLEEP, nap, sleep some more. When you are really well rested, zoom out, and imagine you are far away from your current situation. Really far, like on the moon, or another planet, looking down at the tiny speck that is you. Now get creative with your options. Try and find some new ones. Can you rent out the house with the mortgage and live in a tent for a while? Or sofa surf with friends and have a break? That one is just off the top of my head.

You will come up with better options for you. If nothing else, the problems won't feel so insurmountable when you have added WAY more sleep into the mix.

I gave up work for a while - i found i could live on very little when i wasn't working. I suddenly had time to forage and cook free things. I might delete those last two lines. Because this isn't about me, this is about you. And YOU, my strong and creative friend, will find a way through this. I believe in you. Now go to bed. A