I'm sorry this is the case for you. My diagnosis made sense of my whole life and fixed a bunch of stuff. I no longer felt like a failure - it had never been a level playing field. I felt like a success for having achieved as much as I have. It gave me permission to say NO to things. Nope, not going to that concert with you or that noisy pub. I'm autistic. I took it as permission not to mask, and as a result have felt more myself, and more willing to put my needs before those of others. Good luck with your ongoing mission. I'm rooting for you. A🙏