THE A-Z OF FAILURES

How to Be a Failure (Part X)

Warning: contains pictures of boobs

Photo by Méline Waxx: on pexels.com

It took me a while to think of any words beginning with X, let alone things I have failed at. But the holy thesaurus came to the rescue, and I have come up with the following:

It turns out I have failed at more than one X thing. Photo by author

Look at that. I can go five times around the alphabet before I run out of X failures. By which time, I shall probably have failed at some more.

X-rays

I bet you are thinking that it must be impossible to fail at X-rays unless you are a radiographer. I mean, having an X-ray is quite a passive experience, isn’t it? Wrong. The people in charge tend to get quite strict with their instructions on how to position yourself for an X-ray. And then there’s the keeping still part.

Dental ones are the worst: they stuff a hard, sharp thing in your mouth and ask you to bite down so that the edges are cutting into you, and then they expect you to keep still while they run out of the room as if there might be an explosion or something. It’s very hard to keep still when you are (a) terrified there might be an explosion, (b) gagging, or (c)[cue one deeply…