THE A-Z OF FAILURES

How to Be a Failure (Part V)

V for vodka and vibrators, with a bonus naked picture.

Photo by author of some of my many V failures

WARNING: This starts with an update on a Failure that is NOT funny. But there is a bit of humour further down.

Value for money

I know you have probably clicked for the vibrator failure, but bear with me. It has been almost a full month since I published anything here on Medium, and so many of you have been kind enough to check in and ask if I am OK. I have decided to kill two birds with one stone and use this V episode to update you on why I have been so absent.

Feel free to just scroll down to the fun later, but if you want to know about my biggest failure to date, the one I am slap-bang in the middle of right now, then stick with me. It is all related to my failure to get Value for money.

I am not OK. I was sure the flat (US translation: apartment) we bought and moved into in November was worth every penny. It had this view, for goodness sake:

Photo by author.

I have never lived in a flat before and was looking forward to being part of a community and having neighbours.