How to Be a Failure (Part V)

V for vodka and vibrators, with a bonus naked picture.

Annie Trevaskis
5 min readApr 7, 2023


A handwritten list of things beginning with “v” including vegan visitors, vacuum cleaners, viruses (computer), vermin (mice), VIPs, voicemail, vehicles, vegetables and vintage goods.
Photo by author of some of my many V failures

WARNING: This starts with an update on a Failure that is NOT funny. But there is a bit of humour further down.

Value for money

I know you have probably clicked for the vibrator failure, but bear with me. It has been almost a full month since I published anything here on Medium, and so many of you have been kind enough to check in and ask if I am OK. I have decided to kill two birds with one stone and use this V episode to update you on why I have been so absent.

Feel free to just scroll down to the fun later, but if you want to know about my biggest failure to date, the one I am slap-bang in the middle of right now, then stick with me. It is all related to my failure to get Value for money.

I am not OK. I was sure the flat (US translation: apartment) we bought and moved into in November was worth every penny. It had this view, for goodness sake:

Photo of an arched window with a stunning view of the sea. In the foreground is a table with a bunch of pink tulips.
Photo by author.

I have never lived in a flat before and was looking forward to being part of a community and having neighbours.



Annie Trevaskis

I came, I wrote, I conquered. That last bit might not be true, but at least I am putting up a good fight.