THE A-Z OF FAILURES

How to Be a Failure (Part R)

Making the mistakes so you don’t have to

Which is an anagram of Annie Fiasco Limpet. Photo by author

Repairs and Renovations

I have failed at so many repairs it is hard to know where to start. I have electrocuted myself, put nails through copper water pipes, hung wallpaper upside down, used sandpaper on Crittal windows, thus scratching all the glass, and stripped more threads on screws than I can count.

My most epic failure occurred in 2017 after we had been living for a year in a tired dormer bungalow in Cornwall.

The feng shui left something to be desired, so I hatched a plan to improve it by knocking down a wall between the kitchen and the dining room. This is what the rooms looked like when we bought the place:

A poky corridor leads to two doors on the left: one to the kitchen and one to the dining room. Photo by author.

The kitchen. Photo by author.

The other end of the kitchen: take note of the hatch through to the dining room. Photo by author.