A-Z OF FAILURES

How to Be a Failure (Part N)

In which I make a shocking confession

Photo by Ann H on pexels.com

Note-taking, notifications, news, nursing and nutrition are just a few of the arenas in which I have failed.

My shocking confession is that I nearly lied to you. Never let the truth get in the way of a good story, I thought. My friend’s narcotic failure story made me laugh more than any of my N failures, so I shall claim it as my own.

Photo by Rafael Santos: on pexels.com. To be fair, this does look a lot like her.

She had taken an LSD tab at the start of a school lunch break, but the effects were delayed. There she was, just as class was starting, going on the sort of trip where you see tastes, smell colours and have a wonderful experience. Suddenly, she realised she was all alone and late for her next class.

The halo effect kicked in as she approached the classroom, and the corridor started shimmering and moving like fluid. Then she had an epiphany: the teacher wouldn’t notice she was late if she swam to her seat. She did just that: got down on the floor and breast-stroked across the room to her desk.

In my defence, I am sure that this idea would have occurred to me too, but the truth is I…