The A to Z of Failures

How to Be a Failure (Part E)

Making the mistakes so you don’t have to

Photo by Crystal Jo on Unsplash

Roger thinks I should go with Eating and Etiquette because he still laughs uncontrollably at the memory of me trying to eat mussels with a knife and fork. But I am not yet ready to share the Edamame bean faux pas that I swear the staff at Yo! Sushi are still laughing about.

So instead, buckle up for a ride through my failures related to:

Employment

I got sacked from my first job as a secretary at a firm of insurance brokers after just six weeks. I was super fast at all the jobs I had been given, and when I ran out of the tasks they had given me, I got bored and decided it would “help” if I reorganised their filing system. I remember quite clearly believing that my set-up was far superior. Alas, no one else could grasp it, and it took them forever to get it back into the inefficient system they were used to. I had not helped.

Ricard, aka Pernod: the most disgusting drink ever invented. In my book. Photo by Stephan Coudassot on Unsplash

I tried my hand at waitressing. In France. With poor oral French skills. I worked behind the bar in a restaurant dispensing drinks but kept getting muddled up between Déca…