Hi Pierre. I'm not going to say "don't be sad" because sometimes i think the best thing to do is to BE sad, be fully sad, wallow in being sad for a while, and then it will pass. I hope the sadness has passed now for you, but if it hasn't do know that you are not alone. I know that connections over the internet aren't the same as real-life connections, but they are still connections. So I'm glad you have written about being sad and given people the opportunity to connect with you here on Medium and let you know you are not alone. About the not knowing who you are . . . boy that resonates. My autism therapist helped me loads when she told me that I was being my authentic self when I was feeling one of these: Connectedness (to another or the universe)

Confidence

Calmness

Curiosity

Creativity

Compassion (including to self)

Clarity

Courage

She said to notice when i was feeling one of them, and then write it down. It helped me and I hope it helps you. Sending love, A🙏💚🌷