Have You Ever Wondered What Other People’s Arguments Look Like?

My slyfarious husband won this one

Image by wayhomestudio on Freepik

I don’t normally fail at arguments because I am quite good at blinding people with logic I mostly make up. But this morning, I lost an argument to Roger.

He ordered some mealworms to feed the birds in the garden. And when they arrived today, they were moving and very much alive.

The very much alive mealworms. Photo by author.

Me: The fuck, Roger. What about the feelings of the mealworms? How would you like to be eaten alive? What if they can sense they are about to die? It’s like you’ve trapped them on death row. I’m going to release them into the wild.

Roger: Buy your own mealworms if you want to release them. These are mine.

Me: Are they babies? I think they might be babies? What do they turn into when they grow up? Because you have just ordered about 25 billion of the things, and if I release them into the wild, I need to know what kind of invasion we have in store for us. And whether they will kill all the crops in a 25-mile radius. And it will be your fault if they grow into something winged and poisonous that attacks us back for even thinking of feeding…