Grammarly and I Will Never See Comma to Comma

A breakup letter to my nemesis

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Grammarly, my love, it’s been a whirlwind romance of commas and conjunctions. But I have come to the conclusion our tenses are simply incompatible. You live in the future, perfecting every sentence, while I’m more of a “live in the moment” kind of writer.

Actually, I don’t write, I improvise. I follow my muse wherever she takes me, even if it’s off a cliff.

I like to boldly split infinitives.

My writing style is more of a wild mustang, while yours is more akin to a dressage horse… constrained and altogether too perfect for me.

I need someone who understands my rebellious spirit, even if it means a few dangling participles here and there.

It’s been a rocky road, hasn’t it? I have to say there have been times when your constant red squiggles have made me feel like a grammar school dropout, and frankly, sometimes your suggestions are just…wrong.

Take that time you auto-corrected my friend Tai Le Grice’s name, and I accidentally ended up asking readers to support Taiwan. I think I’m still on a Chinese blacklist somewhere for that little stunt.

And let’s not forget that time I wrote copulation instead of cooperation, and you went ahead and let…