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NOT SATIRE. TOTALLY TRUE.
Definitive Proof that Communication Is NOT the Key to a Successful Marriage
Trust me
After years of personal research, I have decided that the experts are wrong. Communication is not the key to a successful relationship.
Please find below real-life examples of communications that demonstrate this.
Me to Roger:
You can’t hoover up dog vomit, you dipstick.
But you drive like that all the time yourself. (Spoken after he had sworn at another driver who had failed to indicate.)
Frankly, I think it was your own fault for not reading the instructions properly.
Roger to me:
I didn’t think we were doing presents this year.
When are we going to empty the dishwasher? I’ve run out of pint glasses.
When are we next doing a load of laundry?
Have we renewed the house insurance?
Have we notified everyone (a million people) of our change of address yet?
When did we last clean behind this chest of drawers?
Is this pork or beef?
Trust me when I say that there will come a time when the most effective thing you can do for a happy marriage is to keep your mouth shut.
Most people who have been married for a very long time barely speak to each other. With good reason.
Don’t believe everything the experts tell you. They are, after all, ex-spurts.
