Awareness is the first step to change.
It seems clear that you have recognised you are better in so many ways when you don't have alcohol. I gave up over 3 years ago and it has been the single best thing I ever did. I think I have said this before. Keep writing, keep sharing, keep admitting, keep accepting. I am confident you will find the way to what works best for you.
I hope your words find their way to all those who also struggle in their relationship with alcohol. I am aware that not everyone does. I would never suggest that sobriety is for everyone. But it was the only way for me. A🙏💚